She saw the station after a very long time, long enough for the air to feel familiar. She was happy to be back to the people she loved and missed immensely. As soon as the train stopped, she ran to the platform above the staircase, every step known to her like her own heartbeat. as a habit she halted and saw the dignified figure,that didn’t limp with passing age, reminding her of all bittersweet memories. She ran to her father and he acknowledged her with a smile, she nodded her head enthusiastically in response as they always did. He picked her bag up and they started to walk on their way home, sweet home.
Her pleased stance stumbled when a piercing pain shot through her head, she was screaming but no one heard, as if she wasn’t there at all. Her surroundings started to glitch as if this was an animation. She watched the station and its people ahead ,as if through air above the flames, everything swirled and moved in waves. She reached out her hand to hold onto something, something to get a hold of reality,the ground below was a blur and then eventually, she couldn’t hear anything, no cry, no laugh, nothing as being sucked into a void.
And then it all stopped, there was no pain, no crowd, even no train station, it was all strange yet familiar. She found herself sitting on the edge of a bed staring into a window, with rain pouring down on the cemented floor hard enough to bounce back and go splish splash. And a familiar voice called, “you know i won’t go, why wait for me at all?” she couldn’t remember who this man lying on the bed was, still compassion and sorrow filled her heart. Those blue eyes looked promising, assuring her everything would fall into place and without a doubt she believed them. She wanted to ask him, who he was? Why is this place so familiar and what is she doing here? but among all burning questions all she could say was, “i know you feel these responsibilities are restraining you.”
“To the point I feel choked, I’m no saviour, I’m no hero”
“These responsibilities and expectations of help don’t make you a hero. This is what you chose, because you can’t ignore their cries, you hear them when everyone else turns indifferent. The urge to reach out to drowning person and to make effort for a smile on someone’s face, is what makes you a hero, a saviour.” It was like something inside of her was speaking, like she was bound to say these words.
The guy turned away his head, he couldn’t escape her words. She talked like she knew him more than himself and he wasn’t shocked at the fact at all. She went back to staring at the tree outside the window, swaying sensuously with the winds, maybe reminding her of something similar she couldn’t point out.
A sudden warmth on her hand woke her up from this mental warfare, “i know you believe in the best of me, give me some time for now, they need you, Go!” as if the last word drained him of the little energy he had. His words and eyes didn’t match, those deep oceans turned warm, were begging her not to go, he seemed restraining himself scared, these oceans might escape those tiny balls flooding everyone and everything in its way. It wasn’t easy for her to let go too, this light warmth of his hand was the most real thing in a long while. What was before she couldn’t remember and what lied ahead was a scary mystery. But she slowly started withdrawing her hand, again she felt not in control of her own body. She didn’t want to let go but no amount of desperation could stop this. As if she was supposed to let go. Amid this confusion and chaos, the piercing pain came back, bolder than before and everything started to fade away, she tried her best to focus but his smile that clearly didn’t reach his eyes was the last thing she saw.
In utter pain she sensed hard cold floor beneath her and herself sprawled upon with hands on her ears. It was the same station where she met her dad moments ago. But it looked as if decades have passed here, everything changed and aged, everyone’s pace was harmonious in this new world ,except her. She looked the same, just more confused more hazed. She started walking unconsciously ,her eyes watching the whole place, searching something of familiarity in this whole new world.
life stories by christin 