One tired of efforts,
Other didn’t want to appear greedy,
One believing not capable of love,
Other thought it to be cynical,
One never had expectations,
Other never demanded anything,
Still the time spent
was enticing enough
to hold these fools together,
Until truth settled in,
Both were fully capable
and brimming with love,
Just Misfit for
popular relationships,
Theirs was just an effortless union;

You are doing fine.

To all those who are in pain and hurt and still hopeful.

It takes courage to say you are okay.
Collecting compassion and hope to  be okay
Persisting to smile through chaos to be okay
Calming your inner child to be just okay
And trying and trying being hopeful
Someday you actually start feeling okay.

I came across a beautiful post by Allison that told me, it is fine to feel both hurt and hopeful, at the same time. “To loathe the dystopian reality we are living in and at the same time fight for a better future with fierce compassion and strong conviction.”in Allison’s words.

Just tell yourself today that you are doing just fine. It is absolutely fine to take it easy sometimes.

Love, Christin

Choose one Chris.

ZEE: who do you like more me or him?
CHRIS: come on Zee i love you both.
ZEE: Me or him?
CHRIS: there is no comparison you know it.
ZEE: I am waiting here
CHRIS:Oh come on, seriously!
(Zee still glaring in background)
Honestly YOU.

Zee: what is such a big deal, it is a fictional character Chris.
Chris: yes but one that is very real to me, one that i adore, i admire and that is flawless. So he is perfect. And a perfectionist like myself chose you over perfection Zee.

That angry Emoji made me laugh.

Happiness often needs no reason, I was reminded of it again. We just become selective and choosy in what would make us happy. And what is stupid and can’t. Rather as the old mystics often said that happiness is internal. It’s a state of being, a journey not a destination. If you are happy everything around is jolly, every leaf, every humm and everyone makes you happy. You laugh at every moment life presents you. My grandmother (or as I like to call her Amma) in her peculiar ways reminded of that again.

I saw Amma today, who is newly acquainted with the smart phone and still learning the complex typing features and Whatsapp. She has a zeal to learn. A passion to know more and be self reliant even in the territory of unknown. That has been my source of inspiration more than once.
With curiosity burning in her eyes as she asked me today, “how do I send that red faced angry emoji people use? I am so furious.” I couldn’t help myself and laughed. eventually ,i showed her how to select that emoji on your various levels of anger, there is even one for swearing (it got me a grin) and then all you have to do is choose the subject of your wrath (this was my aunt in this case). And hit send.

“Okayyy” she said as she hit send.And started laughing lifting all corners of her mouth, so happy with this new skill of hers, one more level of becoming a pro of smartphones and deeply satisfied with herself.
There was a sense of accomplishment and achievement and above all happiness radiating form her aura. That lit up the surroundings with her toothless smile. One couldn’t help but reciprocate that pure smile.

There is something about laughter that is infectious, especially the one that comes from deep nooks of the heart and reverberates within your whole body.

So I laughed with her naturally. And i laughed after a long while, so hard that time flew by and yet i laughed.
What makes you laugh friends? Is it something silly or is it some person?Is it a habit or occasional? Or are you a natural laughing person? What makes you laugh so hard that it shakes your whole body?

Let us stop here

Let's stop here
and not go beyond
Lets's freeze this moment
and Us within it;
Let's look at the crescent
in the dark infinite
and not ponder
when would it be full?
Let's just stay here
walking together
and not try to match
our pace;

Let's look at each other
with affection, admiration
and not search eyes
for each other's names;
Let's sway with the
green givers
and not wait 
for the spring and bloom;

Let's be there for us
when time calls
and not make any vows
of forever and never;
Let's just stop here
and not go beyond
coz' perfect is this
not something whole and full
not some always and forever;

Let's freeze this moment
And not envy eternity at all.

Glitchy pieces of time!(a short story)

She saw the station after a very long time, long enough for the air to feel familiar. She was happy to be back to the people she loved and missed immensely. As soon as the train stopped, she ran to the platform above the staircase, every step known to her like her own heartbeat. as a habit she halted and saw the dignified figure,that didn’t limp with passing age, reminding her of all bittersweet memories. She ran to her father and he acknowledged her with a smile, she nodded her head enthusiastically in response as they always did. He picked her bag up and they started to walk on their way home, sweet home.

Her pleased stance stumbled when a piercing pain shot through her head, she was screaming but no one heard, as if she wasn’t there at all. Her surroundings started to glitch as if this was an animation. She watched the station and its people ahead ,as if through air above the flames, everything swirled and moved in waves. She reached out her hand to hold onto something, something to get a hold of reality,the ground below was a blur and then eventually, she couldn’t hear anything, no cry, no laugh, nothing as being sucked into a void.

And then it all stopped, there was no pain, no crowd, even no train station, it was all strange yet familiar. She found herself sitting on the edge of a bed staring into a window, with rain pouring down on the cemented floor hard enough to bounce back and go splish splash. And a familiar voice called, “you know  i won’t go, why wait for me at all?” she couldn’t remember who this man lying on the bed was, still compassion and sorrow filled  her heart. Those blue eyes looked promising, assuring her everything would fall into place and without a doubt she believed them. She wanted to ask him, who he was? Why is this place so familiar and what is she doing here?  but among all burning questions all she could say was, “i know you feel these responsibilities are restraining you.”

“To the point I feel choked, I’m no saviour, I’m no hero”

“These responsibilities and expectations of help don’t make you a hero. This is what you chose, because you can’t ignore their cries, you hear them when everyone else turns indifferent. The urge to reach out to drowning person and to make effort for a smile on someone’s face, is what makes you a hero, a saviour.” It was like something inside of her was speaking, like she was bound to say these words.

The guy turned away his head, he couldn’t escape her words. She talked like she knew him more than himself and he wasn’t shocked at the fact at all. She went back to staring at the tree outside the window, swaying sensuously with the winds, maybe reminding her of something similar she couldn’t point out.

A sudden warmth on her hand woke her up from this mental warfare, “i know you believe in the best of me, give me some time for now, they need you, Go!” as if the last word drained him of the little energy he had. His words and eyes didn’t match, those deep oceans turned warm, were begging her not to go, he seemed restraining himself scared, these oceans might escape those tiny balls flooding everyone and everything in its way. It wasn’t easy for her to let go too, this light warmth of his hand was the most real thing in a long while. What was before she couldn’t remember and what lied ahead was a scary mystery. But she slowly started withdrawing her hand, again she felt not in control of her own body. She didn’t want to let go but no amount of desperation could stop this. As if she was supposed to let go. Amid this confusion and chaos, the piercing pain came back, bolder than before and everything started to fade away, she tried her best to focus but his smile that clearly didn’t reach his eyes was the last thing she saw.

In utter pain she sensed hard cold floor beneath her and herself sprawled upon with hands on her ears. It was the same station where she met her dad moments ago. But it looked as if decades have passed here, everything changed and aged, everyone’s pace was harmonious in this new world ,except her. She looked the same, just more confused more hazed. She started walking unconsciously ,her eyes watching the whole place, searching something of familiarity in this whole new world.