Did you see my fear?

My name was called. People say no one judges you, focus on your self, don’t see anyone. But is it possible to stand in front of a hundred eyes and act as you are unnoticed. You must be a great actor for that. Alas! I’m not that too. I prepare and collect myself and start moving towards the stage. the steps heavier one by one,air cold with every breath,all advices far away,i feel desolated. when I reach the podium, I struggle to stand comfortably and sink in the whole view in front of me, how can I not?

I greet everyone, that part always goes right,when I start the first lines whether by heart or not,the heart starts thumping like a dilapated drum,i ts voice painful to ears, it’s screaming which I can’t bear. still I take deep breaths and don’t stop.

Till the third line, exhaustion fills my insides but I get used to it. in the mid of forth , the ground begins trembling but no one else notices it,why I wonder, because only my legs can feel the tremor,they refuse to let me stand. hiding them behind the podium ,I continue, the tremor normal now as if I’m a citizen of japan . fifth flows away like a stubborn guest,uncalled. sixth, I feel my fingers trying to hold on something desperately but return as a lost player,shivering from the loss,i keep them on podium to give them a cover. by eighth I feel near to end,all of me freezing like sleeping in a snow bed. Ninth covers my throat ,voice box angry to let it out,f or straining it to no ends. it becomes thick , with a stone entrapped in it, shivers all over, joining everyone at the cold party. But I keep going on. Tenth line, I say a bit shaky and ‘thank you’ends my misery. I become silent hiding my vulnerabilities .

A thunder clap echoed the halls for how long ,I didn’t know. Friends came telling, I did excellent in one go. it took minutes to register ,what did I just do. I was too busy fighting my demons, when I entered the heaven I didn’t know.they didn’t see the terrifying evils,tgey didn’t see my fear,I guess they didn’t know! Did you see my fear?


You are the wind‚Ě£

Its amazing to know, you are the wind surrounding me,

For, nor from heaven nor earth

Nor back and forth,

Anyone did ever, cross the sea to me.

First blog post

The simple thing why I started this? Nothing big but its magnificent in its self. Other than completing your daily timetable, where everything is perfectly bound or you are working day-night to make it settle (as everybody prefers, naturally). The beauty of the perfectness fades away as at some sort of time you feel this perfectness like boundaries enclosing you. that’s when you need a world with no boundary, no restriction, just you and your thoughts, and writing is the ladder to it, you are in the world with everyone but have an extraordinary choice too,and its always with you. It gives you the immense joy of being you, when you are already you but not you!(well its my definition of writing, actually there is no such definition, its just what you feel and want it to be.) . It gives you wings to fly in the galaxy of imagination (maybe out of milky way too!) .While writing its only my thoughts, my experiences and my reviews ,no one tells me what to write and how to? it beseech your conscience to waive the treasures of life. The basic ideal of writing, its purely yours.